FULL circle..

On this blog..most of the time i used to keep whining and complainin...but not today..not this time.. some thing really nice happened in my life..

10years ago I used to live in this place called Dar-es -salaam...if u wanna see the Indian ocean turquoise, you must go there.. any way.. comin back to the point..

I had this realllly good friend -Vishal..we were inseparable...We were competitors-vishu 1st n I 2nd..Infact tis because of vishal tht I developed my passion for reading.. I was stuck on stupid comics before that..

He was the first guy I had tht 'special feeling' for..really looked up to him..respected him..n he was my best pal..

Then in '96 I came back to India.. lost touch with him completely.. we didnt even say good bye.. he didnt even sign my slam book.. twas so incomplete..

THEN 10 yrs later..there was ORKUT.I found this female who was in my class in junior college.. and while I was checking out her friends, I found this girl -Radha, who was also a very close friend of mine back in Dar, ..so I added radha..Scrapped on her book.. asked if she knew wat was up wid Vishal n poonam..She replied sayin tht she might have found vishal on orkut.. n I was soo happy.. I mean he used to be such an important part of my life..and we had just completely , totally disappeared from each others lives..

around the 23rd of june I added him on orkut..

on 26th june we chatted online for 2 hrs.. and then spoke on the fone for 8.5 hrs! we Just went onnnn talkin..didnt wanna keep the phone at all..the years just fell away.. we became the same old 5th graders..we spoke abt everything right from cooking to music to careers to ppl...to everything tht there is to talk abt.. we also spoke abt 'us'..

On the 27th of june we were together.

have U heard of terms like "inevitability" and "destiny"??

10 friggin years... and my life is a FULL circle...back where i started from..We started wid each other n finally ended with each other.. from ashes to ashes..from dust to dust..from the sky back to the sky..

he calls it "de'weed' " effect..

NO wonder we never said good bye.. :)

loll

okie..
I must tell u a lotta things...
the last few entries make me sound like a frustrated crazy woman..
but am not.. crazy yes.. i wont deny that..
here a few things:
1. i am not angry... as off this week
2. I love music (dunno y i had to include that)
3. Music is a great communicator (Oh my God .. i cant stop :P)
4. I love ( :P... u can add anything U wanna after that...as many ppl and things U wanna... and smile... coz ure included)

strAngE reLatiOnShiP

Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip?
In this strange relationship
You push and pull me
'Till I'm about to lose my mind
Is this just a waste of time?
Keep acting like you own me
I keep running
watch me walkin' out that door
I hear you behind me
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
Do you love me?
We break up and back together
And I swear to myself never
But oh how you do me
You strip me of my honor
And I don't ever think I'm gonna
Break free of these mind games
All I'm tryin' to do is modify my plan
Cause I can't contain you....
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
You keep acting like you own me
Like you control me
You said you never really wanted me back
Well maybe that's a fact
May I suggest a brand new plan of attack
And in defense of that
You're hard to crack
You're way off track
I want you back
I want you gone
Maybe I'm sick of holding on
Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone

U wudnt know the difference . . .

On the telephone line
I am anyone
I am anything i wanna be
I could be a super model,
or Norman Mailer
And you would'nt know the difference
or would you?
or would you?

WRATH

Am through with all the self pity shit.
Damn ... i dont deserve that.
just had my first 'chat' with someone I thot i was in love with..
have U heard of the words 'COLD' and "feelingless'?... that would be an understatement. it was really a very normal chat.. but... I am seething... as if am gonna go with him for that friggin movie... he can shove the bloody free tickets up his ass for all i care... now u know how pissed off i am.. its painful admitting it but am treated like crap.. like my msges are the LASt ones to be replied to...

k.. this is wat happened:

One Idiot had free tickets to a movie.. and we decided to go..
2days ago I msged him the foll:
"Hi.. lets go for that movie naa.. pinka really liked it.. how abt wed or thurs?Ure busy?"

NO fuckin reply.
so mayb he is majorly busy.. that he doesnt even have 30 sec to reply.. he should take classes frm Sid on chivalry..That was the worst friggin way to treat me.. SO today wen i was 'chattin' wid him... i asked him abt the sms... givin him friggin benefit of bloody doubt.

THIS is a part (almost half) of the 'convo':
thedude: Movie on Saturday
dewrulz2001: ?
thedude: eterna l sunshine
dewrulz2001: k.. did u get my messege the other day?
thedude: yup but got 2 projects on friday
dewrulz2001: okie.. was 'amused' wen u dint reply.. U done wid the projects?
.......

CAN U believe??? WAt the hell am I payin for?? DAmnn... asshole deserves the bloody treatment he got from his 'lovin' deeksha..

THIS IS IT.. OVER.. AM SOO BuGGED I COULD SMASH THE SCREEN.

THE best of U... from me to me

"Best Of You"

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...
Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you'd die to heal
The hope that starts the broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

....Foo Fighters...

watever ... AGAIN!!

i realised something that temporarily alleviated my so-called pain.. if u know wat i mean.. i realised that people create their own hell.. all the so called 'sadness' and waves of 'loneliness' r just in the head.. just like 'fallin' in the abyss called love... See how one could look at it? its actually the most beautiful thing that can happen to a person.. U feel for someone beyond urself and ur family and ur friends.. U even become self less sometimes.. I realised that my normal state of mind is 'happy'... and am really good at it.. so why let some crappy elements of your life..(becoz of their insensitivity about which you can do nothing about).. ruin ur happiness.. and the funny part is that maybe ur 'ruined happiness' wasnt even ur instinctive reaction... you dwell n dwell and dwell on it... and think its time to feel miserable... and hence do.. let me be more explicit- I DONT like ..umm.. U know who... just DWELL n DWELL n DWELL... you get the picture??

hellllooo

hiiiii...yeha ...am alive.. its been a lOONnnggg time.. today was a nice day...it rained..IN MARCH... really funny.. met sid after a month.. good fun..went to barista...saumin and his frenz turned up(Wat a surprise).. nice day... and a LOOOTTT of stuff has been goin on (or NOT!!)...dont know where to begin...so wont.. :) ... results came out..decent..got an 85 in one subject..hahaha.. SID topppped his class.. gnite.

BlassssT the GhettoZ

hmm...i know I know I havent blogged in a century. . have been DEAD busy... Practs got over on Friday and have been comatose since. am listenin to my MP3 player all the time [ my frenz have disowned me coz of that].. I dunno what to write except for that the following things are happenin to me:
1] I draw crazy conclusions
2] I am actually becomin sensitive and I care..... (whoah is that a good sign?)
4] goin to shimla and delhi in JAN....i hope it works out this time.. ALMOST all those who count (in IT ) are comin'..
5] am listenin to MAJOR music..
6} and i gotta study BIIIGGG time...chalo bye...Until the NExt century.. :D